CAREWORN MIND

words by: CJ Sanchez

I opened my eyes,
the room was too dark and dusty
I was soaked with sweat,
but it’s cold like a winter.

they are taunting me,
I can’t escape them,
I can’t escape the killer. 

I thought I was free,
but the truth is
I am not,
and I will never be.

I want to go out,
but my two pale feet were chained.
I said, I’ll never stop fighting them,
but they just grinned at me.

In order to be free,
you have to kill yourself.

It’s just an awful nightmare isn’t?
Tomorrow, I’ll wake up with peaceful mind,
with blissful thoughts.
But it’s not a dream not even a fantasy,

the demons were creating ruckus inside my head,
they were speaking raucously,
their obstreperous laughter
Drives me crazy.

In order to be free,
I have to kill myself
I asked them,
Why is it always me?

I was just an innocent child,
I used to be happy,
I used to smile a lot,
but now, I’m tired.

—
photo: ctto