Not Really, But We Used To

You were that friend who used to be my human diary.
You were that friend who used to laugh at my lousy and funny shenanigans.

You were that friend who wiped my tears.

You were that friend who lightened up my gloomy mood.

You were that friend who hold my hand when I was in the verge of giving up. 

You were that friend who used to whisper those magical words “You can do it” and flashed a smile, to assure me that I really can.

You were that friend who accepted me wholeheartedly. You once believed in me, you said you always will.
But where are you now?

We used to be inseparable but you are now too unreachable. You were the one who walked away. Not me. 

Maybe, I’m not the friend you are expecting to have. Perhaps, you believed in your instinct that I betrayed you. Perhaps, you listened to the voices everywhere that I was backstabbing you. Because no, I was not, and I won’t to that to you.

  It’s just make me really sad that I’ve noticed how you distance yourself, how you avoided me. 

Now that everything has changed, might as well embrace it. I’m tired of pushing myself, I’m tired to pretending that I was naive, I’m tired of waiting for your another sweet stories about they guy you’ve met through chat. Maybe it’s my fault. 

Do you still remember what you’ve said to me last 4th day of September? coz I will never forget that day. 

The way you said those words, it  hurts me. You asked me, “Are we close?”

I want to answer you, but I can’t speak. I don’t even know what should I say. 
Once again, you walked away from me. 

What did I do to you to loath me that much? 

But instead of confronting you, I muttered silently and try to answer your question.

 “are we close?”

“not really, but we used to”

Photo: ccto

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