SELF, I Forgive You

Many years had past and yet you are still on your thrown; you are still wearing your crown. This year, you are fighting the same silent battle you haven’t finished from the previous years. You still remain resilient and unscathed. Those wounds inside your heart are the proofs you fought in that unending battle. Did you count how many times I doubted your abilities and wit? How many times I thought you can’t answer the hanging question of your professor because you were not really prepared enough or not smart enough? How many times we let those opportunities passed like a dust blown by the mighty wind? How many times you can’t sleep at night because I taunted you? How many times I said I wish, I wasn’t you? How many times we fought? How many times I said to you that you can’t because you’ll only just fail when in fact you really can? We can’t almost count everything.

Why did I let you be the slave of your anxiety and depression?

But Self, I have already forgiven you. I’ve learned how to love your flaws, imperfections, and weakness. I’ve learned to accept that you are the only person who’s responsible for yourself and not other people. I’ve learned that people will leave us but we will stay together until our very last breath.

Self, you have a lot of battles to fight for and chains to break in but promise me you will always remain strong? You can win every battle. You can save yourself from doubts. I know you will succeed.

This time, I am finally going to say this to you

Self, I believe in you.

No matter how many failures we’ve encountered while venturing in the process. Please always remember to stand with dignity and think that the process will make you stronger. Always remember every mistake, wrong decision, indecisiveness and uncertainties you made… I am always ready to forgive you.

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