Dear Ex-Crush; It’s Done

How’s life? I know you’re enjoying every single moment of the day with her, the girl you’ve been praying for since then. We became close for only months because it was me from the very beginning who chose to avoid you, who chose to distance myself. Wanna know why? Because it’s not your responsibility to catch me if I accidentally fell in love. That sounds cocky I know. If we’re still friends; if we’re still close, you are probably laughing at me right now. Or maybe you’re just gonna frown and say “that’s too quirky!”

I’ve seen your last post on instagram. I’ve read your tweet and status last night. You were broadcasting all over the world how lucky you are to call her “love of my life”. How many times I wished I was her? Have you read the poems that I wrote for you? Probably not, because I didn’t even tell you that most of those poems I published on my blog, they are mostly dedicated to you. So stupid of me, I know.

I’m not bitter though I have to admit that I am somewhat envious to your new girl. You are not lucky to have her. It’s her; it’s her who’s lucky to have you. Or perhaps, you two were both lucky to have each other if that makes sense. Wait, I was also silently stalking your instagram last night. Your smile was genuine though I still don’t get it why there was a gap between your two front teeth. But don’t get me wrong, you are still handsome. I solemnly promised.

I want you to know that I am happy for you and I am happy for myself too because I made a right decision. I want to thank you for not asking me why I’m a bit standoffish. Perhaps, you already knew that I had feelings for you and you respect it. You also chose to not bother me anymore instead of giving me false hope.

There is always this girl in the mainstream story who’s silently falling in love with her guy friend. That’s the reality. Not all people are lucky when they fall in love, some of them are suffering silently… discreetly.


Photo: copy to the owner


One thought on “Dear Ex-Crush; It’s Done

  1. Maybe one day he will realize that you were the one all along! But if you stay forward in your journey, who knows you will maybe meet your true love. Good luck and best wishes!🙋


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