You don’t have any idea how much my heart hammers every time I see your name on my phone screen. You don’t have any idea how much I enjoy talking to you even though sometimes, I think I was just your past time. I love making you laugh. I don’t care if I look stupid as long as I make our conversation interesting and funny. The truth is, I wasn’t like this before until I met you.
You don’t have any idea how many times I screamed every time you call me “pretty”. A compliment from a person whom you really like really means a lot isn’t? I wish you can see me blush but I know you’ll just laugh at me like you usually do.
You don’t have any idea how you make me feel jealous every time I see a girl on your Instagram stories. I know I don’t have the right to tell you that because again, there is no “us”.
You don’t have any idea how many times I pretend that I wasn’t sleepy just to listen to your stories. I love the way you share your negativities and secrets to me. It made me feel that somehow I was important for you too.
I sometimes hate the “waiting” game we play. I wish I could tell you that I want your time and your delayed responses made me feel like I was a nuisance.
It’s funny how I keep forgetting that you were not really mine and I’m not allowed to own you.
But I want you to know that I miss you.
I miss you every day and I always wait for your messages. I long for your stories. I wish you were not busy. I wish you were here.
I miss your jokes. I miss the songs that you sing for me. I miss sending you my filtered pictures and ask you what you think about it? I miss staying up late just to talk to you.
But you know what? Sometimes, I miss people so bad that I stop missing them at all.
So, I don’t know how long will it take to miss you. Maybe soon enough, I’ll find myself not thinking about you anymore. For now, I’ll let myself miss you even there is no “us”.